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Ridiculous

We Ranked Every Team Mascot By How They’d Do In a Bar Fight

Somebody had to do this. A costumed man’s whole job is to be intimidating on a jumbotron, so naturally we asked the only question that matters: who wins if it actually comes to blows? Methodology was rigorous — by which we mean two guys on a couch arguing for forty-five minutes. Size, mascot “attitude,” and […]

Matt Parnell · September 3, 2026